Pity Party

Sometimes, I get to the end of the day and I have to ask myself a difficult question.  As I sit in bed this evening preparing to end the day, the question in my heart is not a question that I really want to acknowledge. But if thenoblejourney is going to have any authenticity to it at all, the question has to be shared.

Tonight, the question I ask is this: do you ever feel as though you are unseen?

Tonight, I find myself wondering if anybody sees ME.

Sure, everyone sees my flesh waddling around the house. I say waddle because I’ve been limping for a week, literally, on swollen feet. Everyone in this family knows I have been in physical pain, not able to stay on my feet for long periods of time, and also not sleeping well. So, why would anyone choose to ignore the 10 things I did get accomplished today, only to vilify me for the 1 thing I did not?

Please don’t accuse me of being dramatic. I am a writer and an English major and I just happen to like to use words to my advantage. You may think I am exaggerating, so for the sake of proving my point, I am going to make a list of all the things I got accomplished today:

1. I woke up

2. I woke the children up

3. I drove thenobledaughter to her summer class

4. I waited patiently at Starbucks for thenobledaughter to get out of her class, during which time I accomplished the following tasks:

4a. Posted two new blogs

4b. Prayed for several friends

4c. Read from my Bible

4d. Enjoyed a grande Pikes Place and a large water with extra ice

5. Drove thenobledaughter home

6. Put $20 of gas in my vehicle

7. Cleaned some of the trash out of my car

8. Used up the last of that never-ending container of leftover taco meat to make thenobledaughter and myself some quesadillas for lunch

9. Threw away the tomatoes that went bad in my fridge because they somehow got frozen

10. Made half a gallon of homemade pico de gallo with the remaining tomatoes

11. Spent 30 minutes figuring out how to post a picture of my garlic-cilantro pico de gallo on this blog and on Pinterest

12. Washed and folded two loads of laundry

13. Made a great meal for the family: grilled chicken breast, orange-rosemary pork tenderloin (leftovers), broccoli, and vegetable couscous

14. Picked tomatoes from the garden

15. Gave rotten tomatoes and an ear of corn to theyoungernobleson’s two chickens AND inspected construction of the refurbished chicken coop

16. Spent 15 minutes being encouraged by a good friend via cellphone

I’m going to stop here, not because this list is all-inclusive, but because I think I have proven my point. And that point is that I have not wasted this day. I have not been selfish with my time. I have achieved things, even if they do not seem monumental to others.  Some of those accomplishments were for myself. Some were for others. And some were for the Lord.

I won’t rank them in order of importance. But let me say the following to those who may not feel, at the end of this day, that I have accomplished everything I should have:

I’m sorry that broccoli is not everyone’s favorite vegetable.

I’m sorry that the appropriate laundry was apparently not done in the loads that I ran through the machine.

I’m sorry that I just can’t say with complete assurance that I will feel like going to the mall tomorrow afternoon.

And I’m sorry that I did not follow up with the important phone call that I made last week. Sometimes, when I am not reminded of things, I forget them. And they don’t get done in the window of time that others may like or need for them to be done in.

But please, open up your eyes and see ME. I am not to be judged, valued, or noted for the things I accomplish in the course of a day. At the end of the day, I am still friend, mom, and wife. If anyone is waiting for me to fill those shoes perfectly, it will be a long wait.

But if anyone is willing to love, honor, and respect me for who I am and not what I do, then I am here.

Open up your eyes and see ME.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.” Galatians 5:22-26

“A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.” Proverbs 15:30

“He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” Proverbs 17:9

thenoblewife

PS: I promise a more uplifting post next time, once the Lord has had some time to deal with me and my attitude…