When You Want to Pinch Your Man's Head Off, Do This Instead...

Oh yes, some days I am right there.

Don't judge me for saying it, because truth be told, most of you have had those days as well. Truth be told, so have our husbands. So when the urge to pinch grabs a hold of you like the spirit of slap, do these things instead:

1. Remember that this relationship is God's gift to you, not your gift to your man. When you focus on the partnership instead of the person, you give yourself permission to show grace and seek wisdom. You were given to each other to complete each other, to spiritually grow with each other, to reflect the goodness of your creator, and to model Godly order in relationships. Your marriage is not your soapbox. It is your assignment and your blessing.

2.  Rejoice in the little moments. Marriage is not courtship, nor is it honeymoon. My husband proposed to me on one knee, diamond ring extended, on top of a snow-covered mountain in Austria. No matter what he plans from this point on, he may never match that. And I have to stop expecting him to.  And you know what actually makes me most happy these days? Looking over my shoulder and seeing him wash the dishes. And a foot rub. No lie.

3. Recharge your relationship. It will not grow if you do not feed it. Just like our relationship with Christ that grows more intimate with prayer, our relationship with our husbands also requires undivided attention at times.  We absolutely must find time to set aside our roles as mother, daughter, sister, employee, or whatever and simply be a wife. Date night, weekend getaway, or maybe just a dinner alone at home will help the two of you refocus on you.

4. Re-evaluate where you are every now and then. Are you really in a good place? If both of you can honestly say that you are, at the same time, then congratulations! But if one is out of synch, a bit grumbly or pouty, take time to find out why. And when you find out why, commit to change it.

5. And lastly, reaffirm your relationship with the Lord. When you get into a dry spell, it could be that you are forgetting that he is your gift because you aren't focusing on the one who gave that gift. Drawing closer toGod will also lead you closer to each other. Find a good couples devotional, like Quiet Times for Couples by Norman Wright, or The Love Dare Day by Day: Devotionals for Couples. It will be time well spent.

I would love to hear more suggestions....feel free to leave them in the comments thread below, and let's learn from each other.